Do I Want My Ex Back: The Importance of Cooling Off

Have you ever had a moment in time that you wish you could forget ever happened? That moment where it feels like the end of the earth is coming, and you are powerless to stop it… That moment where your loved one says those little words to you that makes everything fall apart – “I think it’s time we broke up”

Sometimes things don’t go quite as we had planned. Sometimes relationships end; this can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on the situation. What happens when you think that this breakup might be a mistake?

It is a hard decision to make – choosing whether to let go and move on, or try to fight for the one thing you thought you loved so much. It begs the question – is the fighting really worth it?

There has to be a “cooling off” period after a breakup. During this period, it is wise to sit and think about what it is that you really want. He or she may have made it clear that this is the end for them, but is it really? Are they really making the right decision? From your tear-blinded eyes, it can be tough to work out what you REALLY want. This cooling off period can help with clarification. How do you feel in those days following heartache – are you sad, numb, tired, fragile? These are expectant emotions after a breakup, and this whirlwind can last for a while. How do you expect to have your mind figured out in just a few short days?

The cooling off period will change from person to person. For Kate, it was three weeks. During that time she recognized a whirlwind of emotions – she lost her appetite, every song she heard on the radio made her cry, she started calling Robbie’s (her ex) cell phone multiple times per day from a withheld number just to hear his voice, and she even called his Mom to find out how he was. For Janine, it was three months. She went through the same rollercoaster of emotions during this time. Once this initial period was over, however, they both had very different opinions. Kate decided that this guy just wasn’t worth her tears and moved on. Janine got back with her ex, John, and they are still together, eight months on, stronger than they were before.

They may have had very different endings to the stories, but Kate and Janine shared one important thing – they gave themselves a period of cooling off. They allowed themselves to grieve in the right ways before making a big decision about their relationship. Where one found the strength and courage to fight for her relationship, the other found the will and power necessary to move on from a man that she once thought she had loved so much.

The breakup symptoms are all very classic – you need to cry, listen to sad music and watch sad movies, spy on your ex through his Facebook page, and think about them all the time. It is the way that you deal with it that matters and as the Magic of Making Up will tell you, amongst many other things, is that the cooling off period is vital for any successful breakup… whatever the ending.