One of the reasons why the divorce rates are as high as they are has a lot to do with the amount of people who throw in the towel and don’t bother to look into how to save a broken marriage. Just because you and your partner have problems, even seemingly major ones, doesn’t mean that all hope is lost. If you still love your partner and believe that your relationship is worth saving then use these 10 secrets on how to save a broken marriage and get back to loving again.
#1 Get Back In Touch With You
You’re not the same person that your partner fell in love with and you’re fooling yourself if you say you are. It’s natural for us to change as our marriage progresses and this is because of everything from getting comfortable and complacent to a different lifestyle and responsibilities. Showing your partner more of the person that they fell in love with will go a long way in getting them to want you back as much as you want them.
#2 Take Responsibility for Your Actions
There is nothing more infuriating than a spouse who refuses to acknowledge they’re part in a conflict. Think about how you have contributed to the problems in your marriage, apologize for them, and explain how you intend to rectify them.
#3 Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
The reality is that most of us weren’t given the right tools or know-how to deal with issues that affect marriages. Talk to someone who has happily been married for a long time or even to your priest or a marriage counselor about your situation and ask for help on how to save a broken marriage from someone who knows how to guide you.
#4 Take Advantage of All of the Tools Available to You
Just like taking the time to seek out and read articles like this one or hitting the self-help section of the bookstore; turning to resources created by relationship experts can give you everything you need to save your marriage. Resources like Magic of Making Up are available online so they’re easy to access and known to work.
It’s so simple yet the one thing that most people don’t do when dealing with their partners! Listen to your partner, even if they’re saying things that are hard to hear. Not being listened to and feeling like you’re not being heard makes it impossible to work on your problems and come to any sort of solution. In a lot of cases a willingness to really listen is all that’s needed.
#6 Rebuild the Trust
In learning how to save a broken marriage, rebuilding the trust that’s been lost is crucial no matter what the reason was for the loss of trust in the first place. Your partner needs to feel like they can trust you with their heart again, so don’t tell them; show them that they can trust you. It may take time, but if you’re consistent in showing them you can be trusted, it’ll come.
#7 Have a Change of Scenery
Working on your marriage in the same place that you’ve been having problems can make it hard for your spouse to see that things can be different/better. Try to arrange a getaway whether to a cottage or even just a hotel to work on your marriage. Arrange for separate sleeping quarters to alleviate the pressure to have sex and focus on having a neutral place to talk freely about your relationship and any chance for a future together.
#8 Write Your Partner a Letter
If communication has broken down, then write down what you’re feeling and what you want your partner to know and give it to them. Sometimes writing things down helps to put them into perspective and it’s the best way to share your feelings uninterrupted.
#9 Woo Them
Sometimes all a person needs is to be made to feel special and shown some love and attention. A lack of attention is usually to blame for marriage problems, including infidelity and resentment. Express your love through letters and romantic gestures without expecting something in return or putting pressure on them to come back to you. Just show them love and let them come to you when they’re ready.
#10 Know when it’s Time to Let Go
If you have exhausted all of the resources and tips available to you on how to save a broken marriage, including professional help through counseling or a program like Magic of Making Up, then it may be time to accept that the marriage really is over. There is a peace of mind that comes from knowing that you did everything in your power to save the marriage. Use that to help you move on.